What do you think

I was looking for
in the arms of Mary Jane
a warm embrace
of this colourful pills
these trips so wild
to the coastline of my brain

all this acid, speed and liquor
and these stormy jala jala nights
what do you think they’ve brought
and why do you judge
what you don’t know
when I am here to show

you think I went
these coloured foggy roads
cause all I was was bored
you told me that I just had to stop
so you know how this feels

when inside you
the fields of emptiness
are so vast and wide
that even beneath their surface
the only thing that hides
is an abyss of dark cold pain

so your sheer existence
is the obtrusive stain
a silent bleeding wound
that you seek to numb again

so yes I went to the movies
took drugs to bring them in
deep into my broken heart
so they might fill it again

fill it with lights and laughter
with people’s shining eyes
it might be in my delusions
but i can’t feel the lies